I have a confession to make.
I am afraid of blogging. I have lot of thoughts that remind me that I can’t write…others write better than me…others have already written about what I have to share…people are going to judge my writing.
These are some of the reasons it has taken so long for me to write. One thing that I will tell you is that my writing may not to be perfect, but whatever I write will be authentic and will come from my heart.
It has been a long journey getting to writing my first blog post. I have had to dispel lot of my cultural conditioning, my own thoughts and beliefs that have kept me in the background.
Maybe in your life, there’s a fear that holds you back or has kept you in the background. What’s keeping you in the background in your life?
If you are like me then you like reading inspirational quotes. There are many that speak to me, but very few that I am drawn to. One that has stuck with me has been the one from Nelson Mandela:
“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living”.
At an intellectual level it made a lot of sense to me. I have done a lot of my own personal work to no longer play small, but writing has been the one area that has held me back from being vulnerable.
So, what changed?
My journey to get here has been of planting the seed, watering it, allowing it to sprout and getting to the beginning stages of bloom.
Here’s how it happened…
The Seed:
I joined a book club when I moved back to El Paso. I became part of a very kind, compassionate, non-judgmental and welcoming group of women. I had been working on my website for some time and I kept hearing from lot of people that I should blog. So, one day during our book club meeting, I casually mentioned to everyone that I am planning on trying my hand at blogging. Could I please send them the link? To that, they all enthusiastically agreed, and told me how much they would love to read what I write.
Well, I never did. I got scared with all the what ifs. What if they don’t like it, what if it shows I can’t write, and what if I don’t know what I should write about? This was 6 months ago.
Although I feel a seed had been planted. When I saw the same group of women again, they asked if I have written a blog post, and I told them that for now I have dropped the idea of writing it. And they would say, how they would love to read my blogs when I do write them.
No amount of others telling me that I could write really convinced me to write. I had to experience that reality within me.
The Water:
Barb, a good friend of mine who has become my mentor, had been helping me with revising my website content, when she brought up the topic of writing blogs. Again it felt really scary for me and I put that thought away. Little did I realize that all this was watering the seed.
Sprout:
A few weeks ago, during the final stages of my web design, my web designer, Iwan asked if he could put “BLOG” as one of the tabs. Since the seed had already been planted and was being watered – I instinctively said ‘yes’.
So now that “BLOG” heading is right there at the top of my homepage looking at me every time I open my website. It’s nudging me to do something about it. I guess it was as if it was trying to sprout and push itself free. And so, it did!!
I have now experienced and understand what Nelson Mandela was saying when he said, “There is no passion to be found playing small”. If I hold myself back from writing my blogs, then I am not only preventing myself from sharing my gifts with others, but also keeping others from benefiting from it.
With that the only next step for me is to let the flower Blossom and allow it to Fully Bloom!!
What is your next step? Where in your life do seeds need to be planted so you can Fully Bloom?
Stay Tuned for next months blog:
Different ways we hold ourselves back…..